Brain Spasm

True inventor of the sachertorte.

“Her magic is quiet humming, smooth stones, potions brewed the week before Easter. She draws her fingers across your back and blows gently in your face. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like she’s doing much of anything at all.”

Wolfbian: A Short Story by Mia Hooper (via rosencrantz)

(I have backed way off tumblr for time-management reasons in the past few months, but I wrote this story and it is on The Toast!)


I stopped criticizing “MySpace angles” in profile shots the instant I realized the subtext to those criticisms was often “c’mon ladies, we want to know exactly what kind of product we’re getting.”




it ok to not be ready

Please spread this shit like wildfire. People go on and sit through the whole experience and they’re uncomfortable because they just want to please their partner and they don’t tell them that they want to stop because they are not ready. It’s okay not to be ready. 

notice here that consent is revoked without ever saying no and consent goes so far beyond yes/no!!!!!!




This is an opossum that managed to accidentally get itself stuck in our recycling bin and was unable to climb back out. We found him in the morning and gave him a piece of raw chicken before taking him to one of our state roads and releasing him into the woods. The last two pictures are blurry because they were taking from a distance as he went on his way. 

My bb ♡

This is the cutest damn horror show geek ass animal in the world

I’m in love with you,” he said quietly.

"Augustus," I said.

"I am," he said. He was staring at me, and I could see the corners of his eyes crinkling. "I’m in love with you, and I’m not in the business of denying myself the simple pleasure of saying true things. I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.

John GreenThe Fault in Our Stars (via dissapolnted)

What do ppl see in this book and this man like this is the most pretentious dribble I don’t understand help me understaaaaand

who the fuck actually talks like this 

literally if someone said this to me i’d hit them with a brick and leave

(via sparknorth)


(via karenfelloutofbedagain)

this fool’s name is actually augustus though?

(via mausspace)

Augustus Waters. He pretends to smoke cigarettes because it’s a metaphor.

(via baruchobramowitz)

if someone talks to you like this in real life - run like hell. They’re wack.

(via the-orb-weaver)

I can see why teenagers love it though, because every teenager wished they talked like this instead of going “I got your math homework. Math sucks huh? I mean unless you like it. In which case I dunno I guess it’s pretty cool.”

(via brainstatic)

Hey sulienapgwien, I just wanted you to know that I got The King’s Peace from the library today and I’ll be thinking of you while I read it!